What hurts the most
by ALlisonWonderland1232
Summary: Harry reflects on his past memories of Ginny after she dies. I suck at summaries and it's my first story. Ice cream for those who review


**I can take the rain on the roof of this empty house  
That don't bother me  
I can take a few tears now and then and just let 'em out  
I'm not afraid to cry every once in a while  
Even though going on with you gone still upsets me  
There are days every now and again I pretend I'm ok  
But that's not what gets me**

Harry Potter sat on his bed in his bedroom in the burrow, and stared out the window. The rain was pouring by now and the whole house was filled with a gloom. Ever since, that day, the Burrow was never the same cheerful place it used to be.

Harry's eyes filled with tears as he thought back to his memories.

"_Come on I'll show you to my bedroom."_

_They slipped out of the kitchen and down a narrow passageway to an uneven staircase, which wound its way, zigzagging up through the house._

_On the third landing a door stood ajar. Harry just caught sight of a pair of bright brown eyes staring at him before it closed with a snap._

"_Ginny," said Ron. "You don't know how weird it is for her to be this shy. She never shuts up normally-"_

He silently chuckled to himself at that memory. That was the first time he had ever seen Ginny Weasley. Or Ginny Weasley's eyes.

She had a crush on him before she even met him and about passed out when she saw him. Despite thinking Harry had done something wrong, he could tell there was something about her he liked.

**What hurts the most  
Was being so close**  
**And having so much to say  
And watching you walk away  
And never knowing  
What could have been  
And not seeing that loving you  
Is what I was tryin' to do**

He remembered back to the time when he had found her in the Chamber of secrets. What a horrible day that had been.

"_Ginny!" Harry muttered sprinting to her and dropping to his knees. "Ginny – don't be dead – please don't be bad –" He flung his wand aside, grabbed Ginny's shoulders, and turned her over. Her face was white as marble, and as cold, yet her eyes were closed, so she wasn't Petrified. But then she must be – _

"_Ginny, please wake up," Harry muttered desperately, shaking her. Ginny's head lolled hopelessly from side to side._

"_She won't wake," said a soft voice._

_Harry jumped and spun around on his knees._

_A tall, black-haired boy was leaning against the nearest pillar, watching. He was strangely blurred around the edges, as though Harry were looking at him through a misted window. But there was no mistaking him –_

"_Tom – _Tom Riddle_?"_

_Riddle nodded, not taking his eyes off Harry's face._

_What d'you mean, she won't wake? Harry said desperately._

That memory still gave him nightmares. How could it not? He thought she was bloody dead! Thank goodness she wasn't though. Man how he missed her.

**It's hard to deal with the pain of losing you everywhere I go  
But I'm doin' It  
It's hard to force that smile when I see our old friends and I'm alone  
Still Harder  
Getting up, getting dressed, livin' with this regret  
But I know if I could do it over  
I would trade give away all the words that I saved in my heart  
That I left unspoken**

Suddenly, a pluthera of memories of Ginny came flooding to him. Ginny dancing with Neville at the Yule Ball in fourth year, Ginny sticking up for Harry at Flourish and Botts to Malfoy right before Second Year, Ginny bringing a shaken Ron into the common room after he asked out Fleur Delacour in Fourth Year, Ginny's happy face when he came out of the maze in the third task during the Triwizard Tournament in Fourth Year, and the time that he truly did first meet Ginny Weasley. Her small little self, bound to attend Hogwarts a year later, wishing him luck when he first went through the barrier to the wizarding world.

**It's hard to deal with the pain of losing you everywhere I go  
But I'm doin' It  
It's hard to force that smile when I see our old friends and I'm alone  
**

More memories came to him. The first was when Voldemort killed Ginny.

_Hidden beneath the invisibility cloak, Harry cast a Shield Charm between Neville an Voldemort before the latter could raise his wand. Then, over the screams and the roars and the thunderous stampedes of the battling giants, Hagrid's yell came loudest of all._

"_HARRY!" Hagrid shouted. "HARRY – WHERE'S HARRY?"_

_Chaos reigned. The charging centaurs were scattering the Death Eaters, everyone was fleeing the giants' stamping feet, and nearer and nearer thundered the reinforcements that had come from who knew where. _

_Harry was buffeted into the entrance hall: He was searching for Voldemort and saw him across the room, firing spells from his wand as he backed into the Great Hall, still screaming instructions to his followers as he sent curses flying left and right; Harry cast more Shield Charsm, and Voldemort's would-be victims, Seamus Finnigan, and Hannah Abbott, darted past him into the Great Hall, where they joined the fight already flourishing inside it._

_The house elves had just charged out from the kitchens using knives to hit any death eater in its way. To say the least, Kreacher was on a death eater spree. _

_Bellatrix was still fighting fifty yards away from Voldemort and like her master she dueled three at once: Hermione, Ginny, and Luna, all battling their hardest, but Bellatrix was equal to them, and Harry's attention was diverted as a Killing Curse shot so close to Ginny that she missed death by an inch –_

"_NOT MY DAUGHTER YOU BITCH!" Mrs. Weasley screamed. (A/N: Favorite line ever from the book)_

"_You – will – never – touch – our – children – again!" screamed Mrs. Weasley._

_Bellatrix laughed, the same laugh her cousin Sirius had given as he topped backward through the veil and suddenly Harry knew what was going to happen before it did. _

_Molly's curse soared beneath Bellatrix's outstretched amr and hit her squarely in the chest, directly over her heart. However, her eyes did not seem to bulge. Harry then noticed where her arm and finger were pointed, Ginny. _

_Bellatrix had a cool, cold sneer on her face as she saw that everyone had seen where her master's curse had landed. Bellatrix toppled to the ground, dead. Every eye landed over to where Ginny Weasley lay dead on the ground. _

_This was the last straw._

_Harry tore off the cloak and bolted towards Voldemort. He ignored the cheers of happiness that Harry saw alive. He tackled Voldemort to the ground and all at once shouted the killing curse._

**Still Harder  
Getting up, getting dressed, livin' with this regret  
But I know if I could do it over  
I would trade give away all the words that I saved in my heart  
That I left unspoken **

_Harry, Hermione, and Ron all sat in a row on the chairs. They all stared at the ground, mourning the loss of Ginevra Molly Weasley. They all wondered why it had to end like this. Why did it have to be her who died? That they couldn't figure out. None of them had paid attention to the minister's speech. However, they were jerked out of their thoughts by hearing his last words._

"_May we all relish in the fact that when we die, she'll be right there waiting for us. She will not be the only one. Everyone that we have lost will be waiting for us. Until that time, may she rest in peace."_

_Hermione burst into tears and clung to Ron. He even had tear tracks on his face. Harry could not see with his tears clouding his vision. He could hardly believe it. Ginny was gone._

**What hurts the most  
Is being so close  
And having so much to say  
And watching you walk away  
And never knowing  
What could have been  
And not seeing that loving you  
Is what I was trying to do**

He sat on the bed and remembered moping around the house with the rest of the Weasley's last week.

_Harry and Ron sat side by side on the couch very interested on the floor. Both were very sad and upset by Ginny's death. Ron finally looked over at Harry, which caused him to look up. Ron gave Harry a sad look before speaking._

"_I miss her too"_

_Harry gave Ron a sad smile. He felt an increase of weight next to him and turned to his right. There sat Hermione giving them both sympathetic looks and sad smiles. She had red rings around her eyes and they could tell she had been crying. _

"_Mrs. Weasley wanted to know if you two wanted any tea?" They both shook their heads in a no. Hermione gave them a sympathetic look for speaking._

"_We all miss her guys. She was a big part of all of our lives. My best friend, your sister, and your girlfriend. Point is, if you need to talk, I'm here." she said sympathetically. Harry chuckled at his silliness._

"_Ya know, I was actually planning something after the war. When the war started, and I was afraid of losing Ginny I made a pact to myself. After we won this war, I was going to ask Ginny to marry me. That way I'd never have to worry about losing her ever again. But I guess, that won't be happening." he said softly. Hermione flung her arms around Harry and Ron and tried her hardest to hide her tears._

"_We all miss her." before quickly standing up and returning to the kitchen._

**What hurts the most was being  
so close  
And having so much to say  
And watching you walk away**  
**And never knowing  
What could have been  
And not seeing that loving you  
Is what I was trying to do**

Harry was jerked out of his memories by the sound of knocking on a door.

"Come on." he answered weakly. He wasn't surprised him more. Remus, Tonks, and Teddy coming for a visit; or the fact that Teddy's hair was electric yellow.

"Hello Harry!" Tonks said cheerfully. She gave him a comforting smile before speaking again.

"I just wanted to pop in and say hello. I'll be downstairs darling." she told Remus kindly before walking back down the stairs with Teddy. Remus walked over to where Harry sat.

"Hi Remus."

"Hello Harry." There was an awkward silence between the two. Either Remus had forgotten what he was going to say, or he was second guessing saying it. Finally, he spoke.

"Remember that she loved you Harry. Keep the many memories you have with you always. Don't let anyone tarnish them. They're your's and your's to keep. If she were still alive, she wouldn't want to see you this way. She wants to see you happy. Remember she loved you, be happy for her." he said before standing up and leaving the room. Harry thought about this for a few seconds before standing up and rushing out after Remus.

"Remus!" he shouted. Remus turned around and smiled at him.

"Yes?"

"Thanks." was all he said before dashing down the stairs and out the backdoor.

**Not seeing that loving you  
That's what I was trying to do**

Harry sat on a bench in the backyard garden at the burrow. He thought about exactly what Remus had said. He didn't know what possessed him to do so, but he looked up into the sky. He looked around through the bright blue sky before his eyes landed on a particular part of the cloud.

He could see a glowing aura about this thing and saw its long red hair and petite slender figure. He looked it straight in the eye and saw it smiling a bright smile back at him. He chuckled to himself as he looked up at the figure and shook his head with a smile. His guardian angel.

**Not seeing that loving you  
That's what I was trying to do**


End file.
